« previous next »
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: The Five Love Languages  (Read 275 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Hot Sandy

  • Jr. Member
  • **
  • Posts: 87
  • Karma: +9/-35
    • View Profile
The Five Love Languages
« on: December 03, 2011, 08:23:41 AM »
There's a great little book I recommend to clients: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

    The essence of the book is that we all try to express love in certain ways and when we seek evidence of love coming back from others we instinctively look for the same behaviors. For you, remembering a loved one's birthday is very high on the list of how you express love. But he may have a very different "love language" and he may be expressing it in other ways, e.g., doing little things for you, spending time with you, bringing you little gifts to show he's thinking about you, etc.

    The author also has a web site at Home - Five Love Languages where you can take a short quiz to identify what it is you look for as evidence of love and how you try to express your love to others. Take the quiz yourself (it's free) and ask your partner to do the same. Then compare how each of you score on the love languages. At the very least it's fun; it may be quite revealing.

    Chapman's Five Emotional Love Languages
    By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

       1. Words of Affirmation
          This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate's self image and confidence.
       2. Quality Time
          Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner's love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
       3. Gifts
          It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
       4. Acts of Service
          Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
       5. Physical Touch
          Sometimes just stroking your spouse's back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

    Determining Your Own Love Language
    Since you may be speaking what you need, you can discover your own love language by asking yourself these questions:

        * How do I express love to others?
        * What do I complain about the most?
        * What do I request most often?

    Speaking in your spouse's love language probably won't be natural for you. Dr. Chapman says, "We're not talking comfort. We're talking love. Love is something we do for someone else. So often couples love one another but they aren't connecting. They are sincere, but sincerity isn't enough.
Logged
...wE aRe All EnDowEd...
Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »
 

Related Topics

  Subject / Started by Replies Last post
3 Replies
768 Views 		Last post January 17, 2011, 11:38:52 PM
by Physics
0 Replies
942 Views 		Last post June 19, 2011, 02:43:01 AM
by Koko Arena
0 Replies
140 Views 		Last post September 17, 2012, 07:00:28 PM
by Hot Sandy
0 Replies
102 Views 		Last post October 09, 2012, 07:01:58 PM
by Hot Sandy
0 Replies
76 Views 		Last post November 30, 2012, 01:03:23 PM
by Hot Sandy